to begin with, the average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.
- jean kerr
x
who gets up at seven-thirty?
i smoked too much today. i notice at least half a pack gone when things are shitty. things need to stop being shite so i can spend less on smokes. adam told me today he tried to kill himself. i figure i'm the one to trigger it because let's face it, i've been horrible. but i'm pissed. i promise not to cut anymore, and what does he do? hypocritical. now it just makes me think i'll struggle with my shit all the rest of my life. most likely. more water in my dreams. not as turbulent as usual. but weird symbols just the same. things of inner emotion and strength keep popping up. not as much turmoil as there used to be, but clear blues instead. i'm always having to be strong though. sometimes it sucks. maybe. i'm balancing out a bit. who knows. i'm just tired of having all my friends give up when i make the effort to stay.
No comments:
Post a Comment